Numbers

Why do we get so hung up on numbers? I have spent way too much time obsessing about the wrong numbers. I don’t know my cholesterol level, my blood pressure or my BMI. Although….my guess would be somewhere in the millions for ….

how many times I’ve gone on a diet….how many Monday mornings I have said “This is going to be the one!”…..how many times I have cheated just a little bit and then said …What the heck…you’ve already blown it…have whatever you want…..how many times I’ve cried about my broken promises to myself….how many excuses I have made for “needing” food… PMS, I’m tired, I’m bored, I deserve it…how many excuses I have made for not exercising…..how many times I have walked out of a dressing room in tears…how many times I have gotten all dressed up and then looked in the mirror bewildered because what I see in my head and what is starring back at me is not even close….how many summers have passed that I wish I wasn’t wearing an old lady bathing suit….how – not even counting pregnancy—I have been up to 229 pounds….how my size 14’s have become uncomfortable and my size 16’s are what I’ve been wearing more and more….how apparently I have subconsciously been having a farewell to junk food party this past week and I’ve gained 5 pounds…and so this morning my scale read 194 pounds…

OK…deep breath in….breathe out….

I’m going to let those numbers go now…..and focus on this….

How many times have I ever sincerely and completely asked for God’s healing in this area of struggle….One…. and this is it.

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