Dear God, It’s me again

Good morning, God

Good to hear from  you, I’ve been expecting you

Sorry it’s been so long

I understand

Here I am again… still messing up

I know

Why do I keep doing this? I feel like such a disappointment to so many

Like your husband said, I am not disappointed in you… I am disappointed for you. It hurts to see you struggle.

I’ve been so disappointed in myself that I have avoided You

I know

Am I this dense that I continue this same struggle day after day…..year after year?

Apparently

My heart and my mind want so desperately to do the right thing, but my flesh is weak…

I’ve heard that before

Can’t you just take this from me? Can’t you just make the struggle go away?

I’ve heard that before too… you sound like Paul….and David… and many others before you… and perhaps many more after you

I have read that struggles keep us close to You …is that what this is all about?

Not necessarily… but that is true, you don’t spend near as much time with me when things are going well, why is that?

Point taken, God. I get it.

But Can’t you just give me a step by step guide… like a “Do 1,2,3 …and this will happen”… That would be so much easier!

Have you seen my Best Seller? There’s some good stuff in there. In fact, if you look close… there is a 1,2, 3… it actually goes all the way to 10. You should check it out.

I know… I know… The Ten Commandments

Do you?

Of course

Remember number one? That seems to be your struggle. Let me refresh your memory…

1 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.

Ouch

Yeah, that’s what seems so confusing… I have already brought you out of bondage, yet you live as if you are still detained.

I do, don’t I…..

Apparently

It sounds so simple

It is simple… not easy… but simple, indeed.

I get so overwhelmed… so anxious… so scared.

I understand

That is when I need to reach for You the most, but that is precisely when I reach for worldly things

I know, you search for Me when you are broken…. when you have already tried the world’s way. How would you feel if Garrett and Madison continually sought comfort from someone other than you, their mother?

Wow… just the thought of that hurts so deeply

Tell me about it… I know all too well

I could think of this like the Prodigal Son coming home… but I do this so often… sometimes DAILY I struggle with choosing the world or coming home to You… don’t you get tired of extending Your grace?

As with the Father of the lost son…. I always celebrate.

Please forgive me…. and help me start anew…

Welcome Home, my child…. again.

Thanks, Dad

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Teri
    Nov 04, 2010 @ 10:34:33

    Good to have you back friend. I love this post. So powerful. So encouraging. Just what I needed. Love you!

    Reply

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