Triggers

As moms, I know we are all busy. Whether you work outside the home or not, it is likely you are going full speed ahead from sun up to sun down, and then some. There are certain seasons that are busier than others and right now, I find myself in a delightfully delirious state of chaos. I am going nonstop this time of year. My drive to work is about 45 minutes and sometimes I feel like we live on the road. I am a middle school teacher, so once I get to school, it is go time …one class after another and on most days, my conference time is gone before I even get started on the never ending to do list on my desk. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am busy, very busy. Much like you, I assume. And when I am busy like this, it is so much more tempting to make the easy choice. The convenient choice. The wrong choice. Sometimes, out of pure exhaustion, I choose the drive thru rather than the grocery store. I grab the chocolate at work rather than the fruit. I hit snooze rather than get up to work out. The busyness can add major stress and fatigue to our lives that trigger us to choose the easy way. I have struggled with those triggers this week, but I’m calling them out and fighting back rather than give in. I haven’t won every time, but I have had some small victories. For example, my son has a major school project due this week and I found myself running all over town (make that two towns) looking for supplies. Last night, I was tired, stressed, it was almost 10:00 and I had a 30 minute drive home…alone…in my car. That’s a battleground for me. Alone in my car- that’s where I have had a pattern of serious binging. I thought about it. I could have talked myself right into a major free for all: “You’re tired, just a pick me up to get you home, chocolate sounds good, maybe something salty, you’re alone, you won’t have to share, no one will see.” Yeah, I thought about it and I know the enemy was trying to sweeten the deal. But, I didn’t do it. Instead, I texted one of my best friends and told her I was temped, and that I needed to voice my struggle. I don’t know, just saying it out loud gave me strength. Just calling it out, calling it what it was, gave me courage to decline the offer. Thanks, but no thanks, Mr. Enemy, you’ve already taken too much from me, you’re not getting me this time, not tonight. So I bought a bottle of water and drove home in peace. No torment, no guilt, no misery. Triggers are all around. I am definitely a stress eater and at times, I can fly through a binge without even realizing it. Right now, in the midst of the school year madness, I’m taking notice. I’m recognizing the triggers and I’m giving them to God. He is my Refuge and Strength! Thank you, Jesus!

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