Day Four

I took the day off today so that I could take my son to see the dermatologist. After the appointment, I offered to take him to breakfast anywhere he wanted. He chose IHOP. I wasn’t tempted at all to eat outside of the Daniel fast guidelines. That is quite miraculous. I ordered water with lemon, sautéed veggies (spinach, mushrooms, onions, and bell peppers, basically the veggie omelette without the cheese and egg …LOL) and a cup of fruit. I was more than satisfied and actually left some of the fruit. I enjoyed conversation with my son and did not feel deprived. My focus is on something that is so much bigger than food right now. This peaceful feeling of being obedient beats a stack of pancakes any day.

Because I was home early, I actually caught a few minutes of daytime tv. I rarely see any daytime shows, so I was flipping channels and Dr. Phil peaked my interest. It was about being overweight. I think it was called “Fat, Furious, and Fed Up.” Just the few minutes I saw of the show stirred up so many emotions for me.

On one hand, I’m tired of TV shows about fat people. I mean, really? Do we need to see so many morbidly obese people wearing next to nothing exposing all of their rolls and excess skin? On the others hand, I have watched shows like “The Biggest Loser” and cried along with the contestants happy tears and heartbreaking tears. It just seems that our culture has embraced this epidemic either for entertainment or profit and I wonder if it’s really a good thing? Anyway…

I was also very sad watching these people give excuse after excuse about why their lives were a mess. It was agonizing watching them be so uncomfortable and be called out for the lies they tell themselves. I think the reason that part got to me is because I saw myself in those people. I have been that person for years. Any and every excuse to not be obedient and take care of my body. A few weeks ago, I could have seen something like that on TV and not be phased. But it was hard to watch today. It hit very close to home. There was a lady on there that only weighed about 25-30 pounds more than I do. When I saw her, I could clearly see that she was obese, but why do I sometimes think that I’m not that big?!?! Am I the only one? It’s like I sometimes forget that I’m obese until I see in the mirror or catch a glimpse in a window reflection or look at a picture that someone else took (because if it’s a picture that I take, I go to great lengths to capture the angle that gives a more flattering illusion! Can I get an Amen, ladies?!?!) Seriously, how many of us get ready some mornings and think, “Not that bad, you’re doing ok.” Then there’s those mornings when you can’t believe the person staring back at you ….is you. Some mornings are met with overwhelming, brutal honesty. You know, when your cute clothes don’t fit anymore and you try to find anything decent that you can just hide in and try to go unnoticed. I could see the pain in the eyes of those people on TV and it resembles what I have seen in my own mirror. My heart hurts for what I have done to my body and for our nation. Our cultural norm is bigger and more and we are killing ourselves with our forks. God, please bring healing ….to me…and so many others who have misplaced our passions and priorities. Help us to turn our hearts back to you.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Teri
    Apr 05, 2014 @ 10:09:26

    Wow! That was beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story and your amazing God given gift of writing.


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