Torment

First, we rationalize. Then we make excuses. We tell ourselves it’s ok. We comfort our uneasiness by guiding our thoughts to believing after this one more time, we’ll do better. So we give in. We have…”just a few”… “one more bite” … “only half.”

Then the guilt kicks in. The mental torment of self loathing. Feelings of failure flood our emotions. We experience the physical effects of discomfort and misery. We resolve to do better. We convince ourselves that ….someday…. someday…. we really will change our lives.

Last week I decided to go to the mall to find a new book that I had read about online. This book looked like something that I really needed to read. You guessed it, another weight loss promise. Only I found hope in the fact that this Best Seller linked the physical and the spiritual aspects of weight struggles. After all, that’s what the focus of this entire blog has been about.

So, I get to the mall and was delighted to find my book. As I was walking back through the mall to leave, I began to struggle with the temptations of the food court. I gave in and got some pizza. Moments later, my other big struggles got the best of me and I added a double decker cream filled Nestle cookie to my binge.

So there I sat…in my car… in the mall parking lot…. binging on pizza, coke, and a cookie….

….with my new weight loss Best Seller in the seat next to me.

The painful and vicious cycle of torment continues.

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Setbacks and Discouragement

It is amazing how quick we can get discouraged. We can be so content and encouraged one day and the next day talk ourselves into believing that what we do doesn’t matter. W e can convince ourselves that we are too small to make a difference… in our own lives, in our circle of friends and family, in the world and certainly too small to matter to the Kingdom of God.  Recently, I read an interesting story that I think explains why.

The story is told that Satan was “going out of business.” All of his tools were up for sale and attractively displayed on a table. What an array! There was hatred, envy, jealousy and deceit to name only a few. One harmless- looking tool, much worn, was priced higher than any of the others. “What is that tool?” someone asked. “Discouragement,” was the reply. “Why is it so expensive?” Satan answered, “Because it is more useful to me than any of the others.”

Ahhhh, I get it! Just as David found strength in the Lord his God (1 Samuel 30:6), I will call upon my Lord for a new energy, a new outlook, and a new strength!