I wonder…

Sunday morning weigh-in! Down 4.4 pounds this week! Woo Hoo! I had a pretty good week and I feel it was a good restart. I got in several good work outs, both cardio and strength training. I downloaded a free pedometer app for my phone and was able to track my time and distance while I walked the track at my daughters softball practice. That coupled with some strength training and I could really see a spark in my energy level. As far as food, I made healthy choices for the most part. I did have several not-so-healthy meals (pizza, hot dogs at a cook out, and Mexican food for a special lunch celebration), but I was very careful to choose smaller portions. I made a conscious effort to have “just one” instead of the usual. I mean, seriously, how many pieces of pizza do we usually eat? And hot dogs? Just one? Forget about it. Especially roasted over the fire pit in the back yard…lol Fun and yummy, but I just had one =).

So I was thinking… If I lost 4.4 pounds just doing “OK,” I wonder what kind of week I could have if I did it right. What would happen if I did not make excuses to skip work outs? What would happen if I did not partake in any of those not-so-healthy foods? I would love to see some of those “Biggest Loser” style results. Hmmm?!?

I am still loving my Made to Crave book. I love recognizing the connection to food as a spiritual issue. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit and I am looking forward to a week of reliance on God to help me reach a healthier me. Have a blessed week, my friends!

“I can do all things through Christ who Strengthens me.” Phil.4:13

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Happy Blogiversary!!!

Wow! One year ago today I started my get real journey… and my blog! I have had my share of highs and lows over this past year and I would love to share with you just a few of the many things I’ve learned:

God is faithful!
I don’t have to do this alone.
Many people struggle with food, weather visibly or not.
Numbers aren’t everything.
Clothes for thinner people are way more fun!
God answers prayers.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot make celery sticks taste like KitKats.
Running is not for the weak at heart.
When you avoid what you know to be true, there will be consequences.
Support from family and friends make a huge difference.
I can do way more than I think I can.
God will never leave me nor forsake me!
God provides.
It is mind boggling that you can know the right things, but still make the wrong choices.
People do not see me as negatively as I see myself.
Constant searching for answers in the wrong places wears you down.
There is no quick fix.
Weight struggles are more of a spiritual and emotional battle than physical.
Hummus is not so bad… Who knew?
Life is much simpler when you do not focus every second of your day on food.
Just when you think you can’t do one more rep, you can.
You can’t fake success.
Our light shines extraordinarily bright, when we step aside and let God work.
There is strength in accountability.
Victory tastes way sweeter than any cupcake!
God is more concerned with my heart’s desire than my caloric intake.
Excuses are worthless and self-destructive.
There is nothing more peaceful than knowing you are pleasing God with your life and choices.
There is nothing more agonizing than knowing you are not pleasing God with your life and your choices.
The torment of a food issue can take you to a very dark place.
We all make mistakes, we’re human.
It is healthy to sometimes challenge our thoughts and beliefs.
“I just did” feels so much better than “I’m going to.”
There is power in transparency.
The Bible is Way more than a History book, it’s our Owner’s Manuel with answers to every question we have.
An all or nothing approach is destructive.
We never stop learning.

Extant still means the same. By the grace of God, I am not destroyed or lost. One year later, I am still an Extant Woman. 

Cautiously Optimistic

Cautiously optimistic, I opened my new book and began searching for my “missing link.” Because I am a student, teacher and a researcher, I read with intensity. I highlight, circle, underline, make notes and turn page corners down to revisit when I feel spoken to. Let me just say, within the first chapter, I had marked up my new book quite a bit. Some of the information I am reading, I have known for a while. Some of what the author is talking about, I feel God has has revealed to me over the past year. However, there is definitely something missing in my quest, because I still continue to struggle with this issue. So I continue searching and I continue reading.

As I turned each page, I immediately noticed something was definitely missing. There was no diet plan. No list of do’s and don’ts. How is that supposed to work? What I find is quite unique. This author is not telling you what you should do or even how you should do it. Rather, she is explaining the spiritual aspect of the battle with food. She even starts back at the beginning with the first struggle between a woman and food. Eve gives us the perfect example of what it is like to be tempted to eat when we know it is not what is best for us. Satan knew then and he knows now that women struggle with the desires of the flesh. How very interesting.

I am purposely taking my time reading this book because I want to absorb every word. One thing I know to be true, and that is also suggested in chapter 4, is that a journey such as this is always better with a buddy. No doubt, there is strength in having an accountability partner. To be honest, I have probably maxed out the patience of my accountability partners over the years. There are a few friends and family members that I know will continue this next step with me, but I have decided to add a extra dimension to this study. I am going to use this blog as additional accountability. I will be posting my insights as I continue to read and learn and I will share with you how God is directing my thoughts and decisions.

If you are interested in taking these steps with me, I would love to have your company. The book is called Made to Crave by Lisa Terkeurst. I knew very little about the author before last week. However, since I was so attracted to the title (I absolutely know that I was made to crave… something? anything? everything?) I found her website, her blog, and her facebook page. She is a very inspiring author and an amazing human being. It is evident that God has used her life to minister to so many. So, if you are interest, check it out: http://madetocrave.org/.

Lovely

February 14th… Valentine’s Day…. a day about Love.

Current Weight ~ 198 …..nothing LOVELY about that.

I am so pissed off. How could I have let this happen??? AGAIN?!?! I am actually up a few pounds from when I started this thing. What the heck?!?! I have been as high as 229 and as low as 171 over the past 20 years. I am so sick and tired of this. I just feel so exhausted from it all. I have gained over 20 pounds within the past 4 months. I guess that’s what happens when you stop making time to exercise and fall (or rather, LEAP) off the wagon. I have been so out of control lately. It’s like I have reignited every addiction I have ever struggled with… Cokes, fast food, junk… you name it…it’s been a free-for-all. One blessing/curse that I have is that I have gusto. When I go for it, I give it all I got. My gusto can be awesome when I am living healthy. Regrettably, my gusto can send me to an early grave when I am living so selfishly.

Friends, please pray for me.

Torment

First, we rationalize. Then we make excuses. We tell ourselves it’s ok. We comfort our uneasiness by guiding our thoughts to believing after this one more time, we’ll do better. So we give in. We have…”just a few”… “one more bite” … “only half.”

Then the guilt kicks in. The mental torment of self loathing. Feelings of failure flood our emotions. We experience the physical effects of discomfort and misery. We resolve to do better. We convince ourselves that ….someday…. someday…. we really will change our lives.

Last week I decided to go to the mall to find a new book that I had read about online. This book looked like something that I really needed to read. You guessed it, another weight loss promise. Only I found hope in the fact that this Best Seller linked the physical and the spiritual aspects of weight struggles. After all, that’s what the focus of this entire blog has been about.

So, I get to the mall and was delighted to find my book. As I was walking back through the mall to leave, I began to struggle with the temptations of the food court. I gave in and got some pizza. Moments later, my other big struggles got the best of me and I added a double decker cream filled Nestle cookie to my binge.

So there I sat…in my car… in the mall parking lot…. binging on pizza, coke, and a cookie….

….with my new weight loss Best Seller in the seat next to me.

The painful and vicious cycle of torment continues.

1-1-11

In the spirit of my new blogging approach of only writing about what I’ve done rather than what I am going to do, I would like to share my week with you.

Over the past week or so, I have continued my study of researching God’s Health Plan and I have loved what I am learning. I must admit, studying the Bible for specific issues like food can be challenging. However, it has also been very enlightening. The biggest thing I have learned so far is that most of what we consume in our modern day diets…is not really food. Furthermore…this “non-food” stuff is making us very sick and in many cases, killing us. I am struggling with this somewhat because I happen to really enjoy many of these non-foods. LOL I am still learning and plan to dig deeper and make peace with this monster as I learn about real foods.

Another unsettling aspect of my journey became apparent to me this past week. I am beginning to feel how unhealthy I am. For the first time, my knees have been continually aching each day. It is obvious to me that my body is letting me know…painfully… that I am not meant to carry this extra weight around. Ouch.

As if I needed more motivation …. tonight at dinner, my jeans began to unravel! Yes, you read that right. My jeans (granted they are forever old and super thin and worn out) seperated along the back pocket while I was out to dinner with my family!! No one saw it (I think LOL) and when I told my husband about it, all I could do was bust up laughing. Seriously?!?! Wow…What could be more motivating?!?! LOL

On a an encouraging note, I haven’t had a soda ALL year!!! WooHoo!!

Happy New Year, my friends!! May God richly bless you with the abundant and HEALTHY life He has planned for you and your family!

Louis Armani? Coach Who? Dolce and Hardy? What?

Suh-weet! This no sugar thing is working! Between eating right and my workouts, I can feel such a difference so I weighed this morning (even though it’s not Sunday) and I was excited to see that I am down another 3 pounds! I am almost back to where I was before I od’ed on sugar and gained…lol Yay! I get to move my tracker!

I am excited about so many things.. but I have to share this one with you….

I got a new purse!

Before you begin to have an image of me as a major shopper and fashionable chick, let me assure you, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I despise shopping. I am not a mall kinda girl. In fact, if given the choice between the mall and a thrift store, I will choose the thrift store every time. I like to get dressed up on occasion, but for the most part, I am a ball cap and flip-flops kinda gal. I have just never been fru fru. I had never even heard of “Prada” until the movie came out….. seriously. But I decided that I needed a new purse for my new lifestyle. Not for fashion reasons, but for practicality. I bought a purse that has extra pockets and zipper compartments so that I will be prepared when I have a moment of weakness. There is an extra little pocket for me to put my “Truvia” packets in so that if I am out and about and want an iced tea, I can order unsweet, and add my truvia for a special treat. That way, I have no excuse to think I “need” a coke because “I have no other choices.”  “Their water tastes bad, I’ll just have a diet coke.” You know what I’m talking about.

There is also an extra pocket for me to keep a ziploc or a package of nuts or any other small but satisfying snack that will keep me from getting too hungry. If you’re like me, getting too hungry is a disaster waiting to happen. All logic leaves my thoughts when I think I’m “starving” and I do not have good judgement about healthy choices.

So I feel better prepared. Better prepared for my new life… my new way of thinking….my plan of action. And I have just taken away a few more of those excuses that hold me back. Plus, it’s a really cute purse, even for a fashion-challenged broad like me! =)

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